Aftermath

Flight was decent...no jetlag as we speak....is called sleeping pills...so you can sleep on the plane! LOL....there is not a better sight then seeing your kids and wife smile when you get off the plane...it was a relief and joy to see them again...they all reacted differently...Skyla was the funniest...she had to do a double take and just said “hey daddy...” and comes sits on my lap...hahahahaha that’s Skyla for ya....Fletcher just giggled and smiled and Ruby came running to me and wouldn’t let go off me...just like Nadine.....and...got picked up in my father in law’s new limo...they started a business while I was away...even got to go home in style...LOL!

I miss US of A already....I love the country...but of course there are things we are lucky enough to have here that are not available over there.....I will always remember the experiences I’ve had, people I met, and friends I re-acquainted myself with....a big thank you to those who let me stay and over-stay at their homes...and EVERYONE who drove me EVERYWHERE and took me out to dinner..THANK YOU!!!! You guys made my trip extra special...I love you all of you and miss you guys HEAPS!!!! See you in another 10-15 years!!!!

FAREWELL...land of the free

So of course I spent my last day shopping....tried another Wal-Mart...and YES my size...SHORTS....$5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA......and went crazy at Seagull Book...where you never pay full price!....got a heap of books...so a lot of reading now which I am very keen on....I had to ditch my mountain dew though out of my luggage...no room and way too heavy.....glad I ditched it though....the blue one was FERAL.....ohhh and I finally found some SCRUBS!!!! AHHHHH my shopping is complete now with scrubs....decent clothes......I got to go up to Alta as well....the resort where only skiers are allowed...no boarders...it was so nice...but COLD..wish there was a bit of SNOW!! Hahahaha

After my last ever meal on American soil was at FIVE GUYS....oh man its soooooooooooo good.....the FRIES!!!!!! On the way to the airport I went by Jordan River and Oquirrh Mountain Temples...Oquirrh Mountain is impressive...you can see downtown SLC, Draper Temple and Jordan River Temple in the one spot....quite impressive.

Sad to leave, especially after catching up with friends in Salt Lake City.....but I have really missed my girls, Fletcher and Nadine and ready to see them...especially Fletcher being sick and in hospital the last few days....So you think the drama ends there......well I got to LA alright...well flight was delayed...just as well I changed my original flight and changed to an earlier one in case a delayed happened..PHEW...but LA..different story.....Delta charged me like $400 bucks for excess luggage...well kind of fair enough..I’m allowed 2 bags 25kgs each (50 pounds), so all up, 50kgs...well I turned up with 100 kgs in 2 bags..HAHAHAHAHA so they made me repack everything....so I took my sweet time!....then I got to security and they wouldn’t let me know because I was wearing a belt with replica bullets...man...I am not going to miss the TSA/security checks at airports...what a joke...I’ve worn this belt through just about every airport since NYC...and now this retard who thought she was Beyonce, thought she owned the world, but really she is a jacked up retard who is on some power trip because she can be....she made me take my belt off and told me to check it through if I wanted to keep it...so back to the check-in counter I go....and I had to hold onto my shorts for my 15 hr trip home...not happy....TSA...you’re a joke!

BYU!!!!!

So I finally made it to BYU....this place is AWESOME....Jeff and Jacquelynn recommended me to go to a couple of classes....one of whom was Randy Bott...this guy was the MAN....he knew his stuff..and the way he thought it was amazing...I was BLOWN AWAY...reminded me a lot like John M Madsen...he spoke about Spirit of Revelation...(wow where was that jacked up guy from yesterday!?!?!?!) straight out of D&C 6-9...told a few stories...one of which I will never forget...pretty much about this kid who was about to take his own life...and this girl went around to bake cookies for him because she was impressed to do so and was told 3 times but didn’t want to give the boy any ideas...anyway...she ends up saving his life...pretty moving I thought......I was looking forward to Susan Easton Black...apparently this lady knows her church history inside out and teaches without any notes and as if she was best mates with Joseph Smith and the pioneers back in the day...well too bad she cancelled...I was spewing!...

Anyway...campus was fun.....out of control...packed...FOOD everywhere...BYU CREAMREY IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I spent ages in the bookstore...could’ve spent 2 days trying to find which books to buy!...Ran into Sis Lindley..(ex-mission president’s wife in Melbourne)....and scared the crap out of her...hahahahaha.bizarre the amount of people I know from Australia that I have seen here in on my trip!

I met up with Cindy Brown...the mother of Michelle Brown, a friend in Melbourne.....I have never met anyone so EXCITED TO SEE ME! Hahahahahaha I couldn’t get over her excitement...

Brandon ‘Money’ Christensen picked me up in his police car and went to Cafe Rio for my last Mexican experience probably for another 10-15 years!....really...his middle name is MONEY!!!! Hahahahaha..good fella whom I served around in Brisbane...it wasn’t a police car...well like a patrol car which flashing lights for the company he works for...I had fun playing the with lights obviously.....I was so glad I caught up with him as we were meant to do it on Saturday and because my American pre-paid phone ran out of credit and I couldn’t get any from anywhere but Wal-Mart, (now I thought we Aussies were the only ones that have Indian telephone operators...well America does as well and it didn’t help me at all....only got my heart rate up!!!!) I thought we wouldn’t be able to catch up....but it worked out...he still has a missionary haircut! Cracker!

So on the way home we went to his canyon near Provo and it started to BUCKET!!!!!!!!!! Really...I have never seen rain like this before.....it was cool....well...not for Jacquelynn...she was a bit nnnneeerrrrvvvvooouuuusssssss......we had dinner at Tuscano ( I think that is how you spell it)..same deal as the Grill place in Vegas....Jeff and I ate like there was no tomorrow...we were all STUFFED...so good though...seriously...why isn’t there one of these in Melbourne...and for $20 BUCKS!!!...again...I didn’t touch the salad bar...closest I got was the fried bananas and the prawns...sorry...SHRIMP!

I finally managed to visit my MTC president and his wife...Paul and Jean Hanks...we have stayed in touch since I was in the MTC...Most people are surprised with why I would stay in touch with my MTC President...well he did literally change my life...I had a real hard time adjusting to being a missionary...(you know I left before they raised the bar! LOL! Now before you get any ideas...yes I was clean and my life was in order!) it was due to a serious lack of preparation like mentally.......that was probably my only regret about my mission...should’ve prepared better mentally! So yeah I had like major adjustment issues...waking early, reading...etc and yeah just wanted OUT...but President Hanks in an interview he had with me just said everything I needed to hear...really...put a rocket up my rear end and my life has never been the same as I’ve applied those principles, or try to, in all areas of my life. I can definitely say if it wasn’t for him and the principles he taught me personally...I would’ve quit and my life would never have turned out the way it has. Paul Hanks, the nephew of Marion D Hanks, looks exactly like David Letterman! HONEST...is hilarious...great seeing him and his wife again...I thought I nearly missed them as well as I left messages on their phone and they were out of town.

So Jeff, Jacquelynn and I decided to do a late night shop at Wal-Mart as it was my last night....I have been looking for dickies the whole time since I have been in the country...I’ve found pants...but no luck with shorts (so should’ve got them in Vegas!!! Dammit!)...so we went got there to get a few other things as well...like a bigger duffle bag to take all my crap home with me, dickies...clothes for my kids and LOLLIES!!!!!!!!!...we found everything but the dickies.......well we did find some...and it was hilarious...we were looking and looking and Jeff found $13 shorts....now that is cheap!!! And Jacquelynn sees them and seriously...looses the plot..dancing around like a kid in a lolly shop yelling “$13 dickies!!!”...and there they were.....her neighbours next door staring at us like “what the hell is on!?!?!?!?!” hahahahahahaaaaa I don’t know what her husband was thinking...but I couldn’t stop laughing...and anyway...these shorts were either MEGA PLUS SIZES or kids sizes...still no cigar...ARGH! I did load up on mountain dew and REESE’S peanut butter cups!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!

BIBLE BASHERS!!!

Conference was awesome....I never thought I would go to conference in person ever in my life...and now I have...and it’s worth the trip....President Packer’s talk was amazing...well I am not surprised...He is as bold as they come...laid the smack down!.....I’m telling ya the chairs inside the centre are way to comfy....you can so easily FALL ASLEEP!!!!!!!...I shut my eye lids every now and then...tried really hard to stay awake...but nup...too comfy...and the lack of sleep is probably catching up to me!

So I gave my afternoon session ticket to my mate Dan.....after seeing him for the last time in who knows how long...I was walking back to Brigham’s flat to get the Utah experience of watching conference at home!......I happened to walk past the protestors/bible bashers outside conference centre/Temple Square...these fools have been here since Friday....and they make me so angry...no clue...same old crap you get as a missionary....the whole weekend I’ve bitten my tongue and said jack all...but today I couldn’t help myself...(those who knew me as a missionary...knows I never backed down from these types of ‘discussions’ hahahaha) So I went up to this TOOL and pretended I was investigating the church and I went to conference in the morning because some missionaries got me a ticket (hence making an excuse for being in a suit)...he craps on about how we are saved by grace and the ‘Mormons’ believe in a false God....so I asked him about Genesis Chapter 1...and how I was taught the ‘Mormons’ believed in the God who created him in His image...then he craps on about God being a spirit..rah rah rah he couldn’t answer the question....I got him to answer a few of the scriptures I busted out on him.....which he struggled to..he seemed to just keep reciting the same scripture over and over again...mate this guy was making me ANGRY...then he asks..”what exactly are you looking for sir??” and I was like..”Well I am looking to be saved through baptism into the Lord’s Church.... The same manner of baptism that Christ was baptised..by immersion by someone holding AUTHORITY and into a church that is organised in the same pattern as Christ organised in as back in his time and quoted in Ephesians, with Prophets and Apostles......”...His response??? You guessed it...”ohhh we don’t need prophets today...revelation is done away with my friend” (How dare he call me a friend when he is insulting the TRUTH!) so he got himself into a trap by then...I ask...”Do you pray mate?” he was like..”oh you’re from Australia?..yes I pray”......I reply..”WELL THAT IS REVELATION MY FRIEND..I thought it was done away with? Mate you need to read the bible properly before trying to convince people the Mormon church isn’t true, because you can’t even convince people what your saying is the truth, as you have no knowledge in the bible....and sir...FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD!”.......his response? “ohh sir...it’s rather hot I have to get a drink”.....well it was pretty hot...but mate...I hate to say it and blow my own trumpet....but yeah I SMOKED THIS BLOKE....HAHAHAHAHAHA what a retard..dead set this bloke is a fool....I still have it!...nah probably not recommended....well no it’s not the right thing to do..but yeah at least I put him in his place...LOL.

I attempted to watch conference on Brigham’s couch....too hard....feel asleep for most of it...and after he finished his 5 hr phone conversation with his girlfriend we went and got something to eat...it was a tossup between Olive Garden and Macaroni Roman Grill....well we went to the grill, apparently better food...but yeah as soon as we sat down we saw these 2 other guys walk in and they looked deadest like full on poofters....but yeah...there we were...the 2 of us...dimmed lights and candle lights on the table....yeah people thought we were probably fags as well...HAHAHAHAHA pretty funny when you think about it...decent food though and decent chat...about time Brigham took some of my advice! LOL!!!

FOOD, SHOPPING, FOOD & CONFERENCE

The thought of living and working here is starting to grow on me..I love this country...the people, food, cost of living and HOUSING..YES I KNOW ITS ALL RELATIVE.....but if I can earn the same amount of money here as I do back in Australia...I’ll be laughing....and I think plumbers get paid alright....but I don’t know what’s up with the toilets here (my friend back in Australia just reminded me!)...bit jacked up....Americans think they have an endless supply of water....and the shower/bath taps...errrrr WEIRD....might have to do a whole new apprenticeship if I was to continue in plumbing...hahahaha...anyway..good luck convincing Nadine to move...stop dreaming Jay!

I finally met up with Beau Reynolds this morning.....if you have watched the movie “the RM”...Beau looks identical to the lead actor in that movie...(Beau would probably disagree! LOL!) Beau was one of the guys on the mission that I was able to relate to really well....and I guess it’s fair to say he could relate to everyone really easily...just got that type of personality that attracts people to him...a really happy go lucky sort of bloke.....We went out for breakfast at IHOP.....DECENT PANCAKES AND WAFFLES.....ate myself sick there...it didn’t look like there was much but I was so BLOATED afterwards....he’s daughter is soooo CUTE...she can even say “G’DAY MATE!” so cute!....we hung out at TJ Maxx and Ross to do some shopping...surely 2 of the greatest stores in America....scored myself more jeans and..wait for it.....$10 EVERLAST BOXING GLOVES...YES $10 CLAMMERS...NOT $80!!!!! What a joke....sorry...only Jonny Rancie would probably appreciate that! HAHAHAHAHAHA....

I had my first experience with NBA players today.....there was a free Utah Jazz Scrimmage at the Energy Solutions arena.....nice stadium...beats anything we got in Australia!...best of all...I saw Deron Williams in action and Gordy Hayward.....this year’s NCAA feel good story....too bad he couldn’t make the clutch basket like MJ! Anyway it was a good experience. Never thought I would see NBA players LIVE...even though it was just a scratch match!

Before I headed into conference, I caught up with Tyler Banta and Jon Hislop...we ate at Crown Burgers...surely....I thought I was done with Burgers..but this place....WOW...you get pastrami in your burgers and it’s a completely different experience...Tyler drove down from Wyoming to see me...decent man serving his country in the Air Force...I could barely walk into conference after they dropped me off!

Tonight was an amazing experience. To sit amongst 20,000 other priesthood holders at the feet of the Prophet and the Apostles...one of a kind...it’s a feeling like none other than I have never felt before....before the meeting starts the whole conference centre seems like chaos...everyone talking, taking photos etc...but when the Prophet is about to enter...it was dead silent...quite amazing and the feeling within the building when he walks in..surely that was the highlight...talks were awesome....especially President Monson’s who spoke about “making choices”...

Well on the way home..some jacked up Mexicans tried to roll me...lucky they were stick figure teenagers ..they tried to follow me for a few secs...but I told them in no uncertain terms what would happen if they kept following and harassing me....like I said lucky they were bony kids and not like the 2 I met in Cali!!!!!